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Owen Wilson, Leslie Mann, David Dorfman, Danny McBride and Josh Peck. Written by Kristofor Brown & Seth Rogen. Directed by Steven Brill.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Ryan (Troy Gentile), Wade (Nate Hartley) and Emmit (David Dorfman) attend their first day at high school and they’re pumped…until they meet up with Filkins (Alex Frost), a school bully who comes off like a little Hannibal Lecter. Before they become completely engulfed in Filkins’ reign of terror, they seek out some protection by placing an ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine. Their best response – and the cheapest – comes from Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), a down-on-his luck soldier of fortune who lives a homeless – he likes to say “home-free” – existence on the beach. He enrolls them in some physical and mental training, while planning on ripping off their parents.

PREVIEW REVIEW: There are moments of amusement, but it lacks any punch either as a comedy or as a life lesson. The audience laughs while the overweight kid stuffs an entire Twinkie into his mouth, the skinny kid tries to find a muscle as he stands in front of a full-length mirror, and the writers vomit out every teen theme we’ve already been forced to digest from the past twenty years. While these caricatures could have represented adolescent angst, here they are used only as comic fodder. Trying to find humor in any other aspect of this charmless scrapyard of a comedy is more of a chore than doing high school homework.

I think everyone involved has talent, it’s just not well represented here. Everything is forced, from the portrayal of the demonic bully who has all the adults fooled, to the quirky charm of the film’s star. It’s not the worst movie of the year. But by the time we critics begin making such lists, this film will be completely forgotten.

Distributor: Paramount