Owen Wilson, Leslie Mann, David Dorfman, Danny McBride and Josh Peck. Written by Kristofor Brown & Seth Rogen. Directed by Steven Brill.
FILM SYNOPSIS: Ryan (Troy Gentile), Wade (Nate Hartley) and Emmit (David Dorfman) attend their first day at high school and they’re pumped…until they meet up with Filkins (Alex Frost), a school bully who comes off like a little Hannibal Lecter. Before they become completely engulfed in Filkins’ reign of terror, they seek out some protection by placing an ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine. Their best response – and the cheapest – comes from Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), a down-on-his luck soldier of fortune who lives a homeless – he likes to say “home-free” – existence on the beach. He enrolls them in some physical and mental training, while planning on ripping off their parents.
PREVIEW REVIEW: There are moments of amusement, but it lacks any punch either as a comedy or as a life lesson. The audience laughs while the overweight kid stuffs an entire Twinkie into his mouth, the skinny kid tries to find a muscle as he stands in front of a full-length mirror, and the writers vomit out every teen theme we’ve already been forced to digest from the past twenty years. While these caricatures could have represented adolescent angst, here they are used only as comic fodder. Trying to find humor in any other aspect of this charmless scrapyard of a comedy is more of a chore than doing high school homework.
I think everyone involved has talent, it’s just not well represented here. Everything is forced, from the portrayal of the demonic bully who has all the adults fooled, to the quirky charm of the film’s star. It’s not the worst movie of the year. But by the time we critics begin making such lists, this film will be completely forgotten.
Distributor: Paramount
Angela Bassett, Rick Fox, Jenifer Lewis, David Mann. Comedy. Written, directed, produced and floors swept by Tyler Perry.
FILM SYNOPSIS: A working mother who’s just lost her job suddenly learns that the father she never met has just passed away. Desperate for help, she attends the funeral in Georgia and gets to know her bizarre and sometimes crude Southern family. While there she also meets a man who may change her life.
PREVIEW REVIEW: Mr. Perry doesn’t like nor feel a need for film critics. Why should he? They usually find fault with his work and his fan base is loyal every opening weekend. It’s a frustration for this reporter as Mr. Perry is one of the few filmmakers who manage to inject some spirituality into his films. He’s not afraid to show a character pray or show people attending church services. Of course, he never allows such themes to override crude humor, but at least he unapologetically states that we are spiritual beings as well as mental and physical.
While we reviewers could nitpick concerning his filmmaking skills, my main problem with his work is that he tries to do it all. Some great filmmakers can, some can’t. Charlie Chaplin could. Jerry Lewis couldn’t. (Mr. Lewis was always at his best when others wrote, directed and produced his films – The Nutty Professor being the rule’s exception.)
There’s a dose of faith here, and several discussions about doing the right thing there, but as with all of Mr. Perry’s productions (he’s played Media, the granny with an attitude, in several of his films), the characters are more stick people than fully realized, and the story excessive where I think the filmmaker meant to be profound. Had he allowed others to take control of his script and directing chores, the faults may have been corrected.
Allow me to explain why this review was so late. Mr. Perry does not like critics and because of the opening support his productions get, he doesn’t feel required to allow us to preview his work. While this seems logical (he is very wealthy and attendance is high), still, critiquing films is a part of the movie-releasing mix. Moviemaking is an artistic endeavor; therefore it must be examined. While few filmmakers pay heed to the reviewer’s insights, they owe their audience the right to be informed. What’s more, Mr. Perry needs to start listening to others. Oh, he can stay on this same coarse, but to take his abilities to a higher plane, he needs to let other pros do their jobs.
Though a filmmaker has a vision of how he or she wants the film to look, it’s a communal artistry and functions best when professionals are allowed to apply their trade by doing what they do best. Though egocentric moviemakers end up wealthy, their petulance and egomania do the art form a disservice.
Don’t let studios and egocentric moviemakers dictate to you what you will see or not. Wait until the reviews come out so you can get an idea of what the film is about and read the content (the reason for the rating), usually supplied by Christian reviewers, in order to judge its suitability. ‘Cause once they have your bucks, they win.
Distributor: Lionsgate
Jim Carrey, Steve Carell, Seth Rogen, Carol Burnett. Kids/Family Animated. Written by Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio. Directed by Jimmy Hayward, Steve Martino.
FILM SYNOPSIS: The imaginative elephant Horton hears a cry for help coming from a tiny speck of dust floating through the air. Suspecting there may be life on that speck and despite a surrounding community that thinks he has lost his mind, Horton is determined to help.
PREVIEW REVIEW: It has a great look, and certainly it is family friendly, but the whimsy of Dr. Seuss is missing in this version of the Doctor’s classic. Far better than the previous two live-action Dr. Seuss stolen classics (How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Cat in the Hat), these filmmakers wisely chose to do an animated version and Mr. Carrey gives us a gentler, less manic side of his persona as Horton, but the metaphoric tale has been stretched just a little beyond its welcome. New dialogue has been added, the rhyming removed (mostly), and the melodious narration of Hans Conried in the 1970 TV cartoon is nowhere to be found. Updated to include references to global warming in order to satisfy those who believe Manhattan will soon be drenched in melted glaciers, the CG heavy feature becomes a hypnotic eco message – a long one.
Kids may enjoy the movement, the color and the manic humor, but I suspect some will get nearly as fidgety by the third act as accompanying adults. My choice would be to buy the recently released animated TV version (make your own popcorn). The remastered DVD came out March 4 and contains three bonus episodes from the best of Dr. Seuss, including Butter Battle Book, Daisy-Head Mayzie and Horton Hatches the Egg! Also included: a kid-friendly sing-a-long music video and an Emmy nominated 90-minute documentary hosted by actress Kathy Najimy. The documentary tells the story of Dr. Seuss’ life through celebrity skits, music and animated clips from his best-loved stories.
Distributor: 20th Century Fox
AnnaSophia Robb, Charlize Theron, Nick Stahl, Dennis Hopper, Woody Harrrelson. Drama. Written by Zac Stanford. Directed by William Maher.
FILM SYNOPSIS: When her boyfriend is arrested, a woman and her 11-year-old daughter move in with her brother. Disgusted with herself for not providing a stable home life for her daughter, the woman takes off in the night, leaving the unqualified bachelor uncle to care for the girl. They begin to bond, but more trouble awaits. He loses his job, that same day he receives an eviction notice, and the county shows up to place his niece into foster care. Of course, she’s unhappy about this, because the other kids are mistreating her. So, the two sneak off, road-tripping, hoping for a better life. But here comes another obstacle to the happy-ever-after. The young man, also emotionally wounded by an uncaring father, takes his niece back to his father’s farm. The father is abusive, always has been, always will be. This leads to violence before the ending credits.
PREVIEW REVIEW: The deep moral lesson: today is the first day of the rest of your life. But before the girl gets a hug from her mother and the uncle drives off into the sunset, they go through an endless array of indignities, injustices and emotional energies. I mean, these people go through a plague of problems. My first reaction to this excess was that it was overdone, heavy-handed, melodramatic and false. But to be fair to the filmmaker, some people are beleaguered by life’s travels. Indeed, problems seldom come in ones for any of us. So I underwent the bleakness of the entire film in hopes of a positive ending message. SPOILER ALERT: The father, played with venomous abandon by Dennis Hopper, has beaten his son down mentally, treating him with disdain and without the slightest indication of love. He begins doing the same to his granddaughter. And when he starts slapping her around, well, his son has had enough and beats the old man to death with a shovel. Now, here’s why I give away this plot point. Watching the Dennis Hopper character slapping the girl after he has humiliated his own son, I was right there picking up that shovel along with his son, beating that monster to death. As I left the theater, I felt uncomfortable with my violent reaction – even toward such a villainous screen character. The movie managed to illicit an emotional reaction from me. But was it a reaction I should be having?
There’s much pent-up rage in each character and never do any of them seek a spiritual healing. Towards the end, he tells his niece that she has awakened him, that he has spent his life sleepwalking. But I didn’t see a formidable resolution. I mean he murders his father and feels nothing but relief. When he tells the niece that “today is the first day of the rest of your life,” the truism seems rather anemic. The filmmakers (Charlize Theron is one of the producers) offer no satisfying conclusion to life’s difficulties.
If anything, the film points out that we continue to make the same mistakes. I assume that’s a deliberately placed theme. As I say, there doesn’t seem to be a real resolution. The young man leaves in a truck, with no driver’s license or money. The girl and her mother reunite, but the woman still has no job or place for them to live. What’s been addressed? They missed each other? Things could be worse? The filmmakers go out of their way to avoid the happy Hollywood ending, which most “artists” hate. But there doesn’t seem to be a legitimate path given as an example how to better your circumstances. I suppose the filmmakers would disagree with my conclusion.
I understand Ms. Theron underwent a nightmarish childhood. Fortunately for her, she was endowed with great looks and an equal amount of great talent. These tools helped her rise above her circumstances. But I don’t see how her example is helpful to those not so blessed.
I found the film frustrating and dispiriting. Heck, it would dispirit Tennessee Williams.
DVD Alternative: Tender Mercies. Robert Duvall stars as a country western singer on the skids until a religious widow and her little boy take him in. The film addresses many of the same topics, but includes a spirituality missing in Sleepwalking. Rated PG for some objectionable language in the beginning. But when the Christian woman has an effect on his life, out goes the profanity. Oscars went to Duvall and writer Horton Foote.
Distributor: Overture Films/Paramount
Martin Lawrence, Raven-Symone. Family comedy. Written by Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio, Emi Mochizuki. Directed by Roger Kumble.
FILM SYNOPSIS: Melanie (Raven-Symone) is eagerly looking forward to her first big step towards independence when she plans a “girls only” road trip to check out prospective universities. But when her overprotective police chief father (Martin Lawrence) insists on escorting her instead, she soon finds her dream trip has turned into a frustrating nightmare adventure full of comical misfortune and turmoil.
PREVIEW REVIEW: This is one of those films that must be graded on a curve. Credit must be given to the filmmakers for their desire to make a clean comedy. Martin Lawrence in a G-rated movie? Points for that. But it’s also a comedy where mugging, eye-rolling and a whole lot of slapstick pass for wittiness.
It’s nice to see a gentle comedy, but the soul of comedy demands some bite. Alas, though everyone’s heart was it the right place, this one is toothless. There, that’s said for adults looking for satire or bawdiness. Now for the analysis most useful for little ones and accompanying parents.
What a pleasure to see a comedian such as Martin Lawrence, renown for his sharp-tongued, but often crude wit, aim an entire movie at the family. Though much of the film’s humor depends on excessive behavior, Mr. Lawrence manages to give his over-protective father a charm and warmth. And the story doesn’t just use the father-lets-his-daughter-go plotline as a source of humor, but also manages to poignantly examine how parents feel when their child leaves the nest. Fathers will relate to the film’s protective papa, nodding their head as Mr. Lawrence deals with his daughter’s obliviousness to her dad’s distress.
Raven-Symone is a competent co-star, letting Mr. Lawrence do all the heavy lifting, yet supporting the comedy structure. She plays the straight man, if you will, much like Dean Martin did for Jerry Lewis for ten years before audiences realized Dean was funnier.
Added to the main storyline, there’s the other child, a Poindexter type genius-in-training who plays chess with a pet pig and sends offers of assistance to the Secretary of Defense. And of course, Pops and the pig don’t get along. But, they are family, so even they stick together when problems arise.
It’s all silly. And to enjoy the silliness, it helps to be in a lighthearted mood, being open to silly antics. It also helps to have little ones in tow. Children in the screening audience quickly took to the movie’s characters. The parents next to me seemed to enjoy the film based on their little girl’s reactions. She loved the mugging, the eye-rolling and, yeah, the chess-playing pig.
Funny, family fun, it’s slapstick with a heart. Folks, we’re always complaining that Hollywood doesn’t provide family entertainment. Here’s one. I’m guessing Martin Lawrence makes more of them if this one does well.
Distributor: Disney
Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis. Epic Adventure. Written by Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser. Directed by Roland Emmerich.
FILM SYNOPSIS: The story takes place during a fanciful, mythical age of prophesies and gods, when spirits rule the land and mighty mammoths shake the earth. In a remote mountain tribe, the young hunter, D’Leh (Steven Strait), has found his heart’s passion – the beautiful Evolet (Camilla Belle). When a band of mysterious warlords raid his village and kidnap Evolet, D’Leh is forced to lead a small group of hunters to pursue the warlords to the end of the world to save her. Driven by destiny, the unlikely band of warriors must battle saber-tooth tigers and prehistoric predators and, at their heroic journey’s end, they uncover a Lost Civilization. Their ultimate fate lies in an empire beyond imagination, where great pyramids reach into the skies. Here they will take their stand against a powerful god who has brutally enslaved their people.
PREVIEW REVIEW: There’s no swearing in this movie. They could barely speak, let alone come up with satisfactory invectives, and obviously no one could misuse Jesus name – it’s B. C. Not even Hollywood could overlook that fact. And the trailer (the theatrical commercial) was solid. It was exciting seeing all those hairy elephants stepping on falling cave folk. Unfortunately, those are about the only qualities contained in Roland Emmerich and Harald Kloser script, or director Roland Emmerich completed production. For despite all the special effects (it’s laden with them), and the battle-saturated action, the film is, well boring. I don’t know, maybe I’ve outgrown my enthusiasm for dinosaur movies, but this film goes nowhere and takes a lot of our time attempting to get there. The anachronistic dialogue, the uninteresting leading couple, and the film’s pacing are unsatisfying. King Kong (the 1931 version) was a morality play, and contained armchair-grabbing original effects for its time (still holds up). Jurassic Park was funny and energized (no expense was spared). 10,000 B. C., however, is devoid of humor (well, intentional humor), originality, or excitement.
As for the Voodoo-like priestess or the film’s “spiritual” leanings, I wouldn’t worry that this will mislead youngsters. Frankly, it’s difficult to take anything here seriously, especially its take on early religion. I doubt many are going for its depiction of spiritual matters. They want to see primitive man up against prehistoric beasties. And there will also be those hoping for cave women in fur-lined bikinis. They will be disappointed. All the cave chicks wear dreadful-looking dreadlock wigs and layers of body concealing mammoth skins.
DVD Alternatives: Journey to the Center of the Earth (silly, but fun), King Kong (the original).
Distributor: Warner Bros./ Legendary Pictures
Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows. Comedy/drama/thriller. Written by Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais. Directed by Roger Donaldson.
FILM SYNOPSIS: A used car dealer is persuaded by a beautiful woman to participate in a bank heist. What they don’t count on is that, along with all the jewels and dough, there are secrets hidden in the safe deposit boxes that thrust them into a deadly web of corruption and illicit scandal that spans London's criminal underworld, the highest echelons of the British government, and the Royal Family itself. Supposedly based on a true story, there are incriminating photos in the vault that could bring down a Malcolm X type, a porn king and a royal princess.
PREVIEW REVIEW: Fast paced, intense and well acted, it’s a good action/adventure/drama. But in keeping with today’s heist-film capers, we find ourselves rooting for the thieves. While they inadvertently expose other villains, their goal is to steal from others. In most bank robbery movies, the victim is the bank, as if that makes the crime more acceptable. Here, if you look beneath the varnished story, the fact that thieves don’t care that they are stealing from others is brought home. And Hollywood doesn’t care that they make heroes out of them. At one point, the male lead says he’s afraid of living and dying without something to show for it. It’s a good line and a great sentiment. But is stealing from others so that you can have an oversized house and a boat a worthwhile legacy? I know, I know, it’s just a movie. I’m sure it won’t really give others lawless ideas.
DVD Alternatives: (For a serious heist job gone wrong) The Asphalt Jungle. This is a gripping tale of a robbery that slowly falls apart. Yes, it’s old; yes it’s in B&W. But if you can put away a prejudice for films in those categories, you’ll most likely be swept up in its quiet intensity.
(For a comic alternative) It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Wrongdoing is not rewarded in either of these films. Rather, greed is exposed for what it is – soul sucking.
Or: Larceny, Inc. Edward G. Robinson stars in this comic caper of ex-cons using a luggage store as a front for their nefarious activities. Again, it’s old, but it’s an amusing morality tale. And besides, can someone explain to me why we can’t watch old movies?
Distributor: Lionsgate
Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Eric Bana, Kristin Scott Thomas, Jim Sturgess. Historical Drama. Written by Peter Morgan. Directed by Justin Chadwick.
FILM SYNOPSIS: The Other Boleyn Girl tells the story of two beautiful sisters, Anne (Natalie Portman) and Mary (Scarlett Johansson) Boleyn, who, driven by their family’s blind ambition, compete for the love of the handsome and passionate King Henry VIII (Eric Bana). While both women eventually share the king’s bed, only one will ascend to the throne for a brief and turbulent reign that ends tragically with a swing of the executioner’s sword.
PREVIEW REVIEW: Is it a sign of the times that the telling of English history must be done with a soap opera treatment and star two American babes in order to draw today’s movie crowd? Okay, maybe calling Ms. Johansson and Ms. Portman babes is unfair. I like both and both are very talented. Short, but talented. And they are what hold this melodrama together. Without their intense effort, the script would become laughable. As it is, the screenplay is more like a condensed year’s worth of All My Children. Indeed, there are moments when Portman’s Anne is more Erica Kane than historical figure.
I’m sure Shakespeare took many themes from the tales of good King Henry. The life of the portly sovereign is not a mere page in history; it’s an entire set of annals. But as we have seen from other treatments (Anne of the Thousand Days, or Shakespeare’s play King Henry the Eighth), it was rife with decidedly dramatic detail. Here, it’s lavish, but lightweight. And while the eyes of the female leads constantly fill with tears, a true emotion never spills forth.
As we all know from high school history, or in my case, movies, Henry was a bit of a glutton. Before he was even done with his mutton leg, he was on the phone to Domino’s. And when it came to the ladies, well, they were as disposable as “finger-lickin’ good” chicken bones. And because he feared excommunication for the act of divorce, he just had their heads whacked off. To further hedge his bets, he formed his own church, one that didn’t frown so much on divorce or the whacking of wives.
The film is colorful, the attempt sincere, but I suspect the presentation will be more satisfying to devotees of daytime serials than students of history.
Distributor: Columbia