• Movie Preview •

Tadanobu Asano. Foreign action/bio from Russian director Sergei Bodrov.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Recounts the early life of Genghis Khan who was a slave before going on to conquer half the world, including Russia, in 1206.

Based on scholarly accounts and written by Sergei Bodrov and Arif Aliyev, Mongol delves into the dramatic and harrowing early years of the Mongolian ruler. As it follows Temudgin from his perilous childhood to the battle that sealed his destiny, the film paints a multidimensional portrait of the future conqueror. The film shows us the foundation on which so much of his greatness rested: his relationship with his wife, Borte, his lifelong love and most trusted advisor.

PREVIEW REVIEW: For such a long film (126 min.) it leaves out such details as how Temudgin (later dubbed Genghis Kahn) became a warrior with the combined skill of Bruce Lee and Patton. Much of the film he is seen as a captured slave, often with a yoke around his neck. Suddenly we see him in battle behaving like a Marvel superhero. Then there’s the slow pacing, so out of step with the sensibilities of today’s targeted audience, and the slow-mo battle sequences containing blood spraying and bodies twisting ala Sam Peckinpah’s The Wild Bunch. These are turnoffs and setbacks which may cause a quick death at the American box office. A shame, because despite these shortcomings, it’s the best film I’ve seen so far this year. Reason: the visceral and poetic nature of Sergei Bodrov and Arif Aliyev’s storytelling. It’s simply mesmerizing, and fascinating to look at, with its Doctor Zhivago-like cinematography.

The technical and artistic achievements are award-worthy, filmed in the very lands where the world conqueror became legend. Director Sergei Bodrov, who won Oscar and Golden Globe nominations for his acclaimed drama Kavkazsky Plennik/Prisoner of the Mountains in 1996, transports us to an exotic locale and period in world history, filming what reportedly is to be the first in a Genghis Kahn trilogy.

DVD Alternatives: El Cid. Charlton Heston as the legendary hero who drove the Moors from Spain. Great spectacle (without being too gruesome), with a literate script and lovely score. A newly remastered edition features commentaries and featurettes.

Or:

Spartacus. Kirk Douglas stars as a slave who heads a rebellion against the tyranny of Rome. It contains terrific acting, score and theme, and in Spartacus, when you see legions of soldiers on the battlefield – they are real, not computer generated.

Distributor: Picturehouse

William Moseley, Georgie Henley, Anna Popplewell, Skandar Keynes, Ben Barnes as Caspian, and Tilda Swinton as the evil witch. Fantasy/adventure. Written by Andrew Adamson, Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely. Directed by Andrew Adamson.

FILM SYNOPSIS: One year after the incredible events of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, the kings and queens of Narnia find themselves back in that faraway wondrous realm, only to discover that more than 1300 years have passed in Narnian time. During their absence, the Golden Age of Narnia has become extinct, and Narnia has been conquered by the Telmarines and is now under the control of the evil King Miraz. Narnia's rightful heir to the throne, the young Prince Caspian, has been forced into hiding as his uncle Miraz plots to kill him in order to place his own newborn son on the throne.

PREVIEW REVIEW: I object when fantasy films such as the Harry Potter series require you to first study the novels in order to comprehend the movie. A film should stand on its own. So, I’m pleased to tell you that although reading the classic series by C. S. Lewis would add to the enjoyment of this cinematic adaptation, it is not required. And where the Harry Potter series is dark, muddled and stale, the Narnia tales are vibrant, clear and fresh. Wardrobe’s follow-up offers witty dialogue and doses of clever humor, swashbuckling derring-do, a magical spellbinding look, and lessons reminding of the spiritual and practical need for a Christ-centered life.

Co-writer/director Andrew Adamson (who helmed the first installment, as well as Shrek and Shrek 2) has constructed a well-told good-vs.-evil parable that is enhanced by computer-generated effects rather than overshadowed by them. The atmosphere and look of the production are reminiscent of the magic good old Walt himself brought to his best screen stories. Indeed, there’s an optimism hovering around every allusion the adolescent leads face.

Though this sequel is more action driven than the first episode, character development has by no means been abandoned. Between the many arm-chair-grabbing battle sequences, the intricate plot and the growth of the main characters will likely serve to open a rewarding dialogue between parent and child. The Christ-like symbolism found in the pivotal character Aslan and the meaning of God’s seeming silence at times in our lives are addressed with transparency.

Now, about those arm-chair-grabbing battles; this aspect of the feature does require a warning. The book tells of warfare, but it’s one thing reading about such tumult, while quite another viewing such combativeness in graphic and lengthy detail. The studio and director worked closely with the MPAA folks to ensure a PG rating, the filmmakers carefully avoiding too much blood, gore and guts. But there is a graphic visceral style that bombards the viewer with one video game-like fight scene after another. While I’m no psychologist, it can’t be argued that moviegoers are ensnared in a cinematic culture today that assaults the human psyche. Though we seem capable of adjusting our nervous systems to the amount of aggression special effects departments can produce, is this metamorphosis an evolution God intended?

This is a four-star production, but I would hesitate to subject children under ten to its seamless magical illusions. It can be difficult for little ones to tell what’s real and what isn’t. For instance, seeing a huge bear nearly attack little Lucy may be too disturbing for little ones. That said, for older children and their parents, this is an action-packed, fun and spiritually rewarding addition to the film series.

Lavish, Inspirational and Fun.

Distributor: Disney/Waldon Media

Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Ray Winstone, John Hurt, Jim Broadbent, Shia LaBeouf. Written by David Koepp. Directed by Steven Spielberg.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Older and slower, our intrepid hero is now on a quest to find a mythical ornament that may contain mystical powers. Of course, there are always others seeking what Indy seeks. Thus begins another Saturday morning action adventure, with some old faces and some new adding to the excitement.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Recently I screened an Indiana Jones-like film coming out later this summer. I gave it a positive review, all the while knowing it didn’t have the same panache as a Spielberg/Lucas treasure exploring adventure. And the reason is not just that Mr. Spielberg’s company has more money or more know-how. That goes without saying. But there’s an added ingredient – a love of film. Oh, I suspect most filmmakers love their work, but George Lucas (here, producing) and Steven Spielberg have an all-consuming love affair with cinematic storytelling. Here’s how they display that affection. Both look at each aspect of the job and fine-tune it. Then they stand back and ask, “Now, how can we make it even better?” Then they do.

There is one small problem with their most recent action love fest. There’s nothing new in it. Indy (Harrison Ford) is now a sexagenarian, so except for the sequences dominated by Mr. Ford’s body double/stunt man, the action is just the teensiest bit slower. He uses that whip a lot and each derring-do feat seems a replay of those already done time and time again.

I’m grateful that the filmmakers have allowed older actors such as Mr. Ford and Ms. Allen to play central characters in a summer blockbuster. But they don’t do anything or say anything they didn’t 25 years ago. That said, the attending audience didn’t seem to mind that it was a mere retread of exploits past. Nor did they object to the convoluted, somewhat silly premise, or the film’s Titanic-like length. They were nostalgic and delighted with the humor and the magic as if seeing it for the first time.

Best scene: Indy finds himself in the middle of an atomic bomb testing site – with seemingly no place to hide before the blast.

Best death-defying stunt: Indy and his young charge are on a motorcycle, having to defend themselves against a carload of Russian spies. The sequence has Indy pulled off the back of the bike into the car, then escaping by exiting the opposite window back onto the fleeting cycle. It drew applause.

Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Chiwetel Ejiofor, Alice Braga, Max Martini, Tim Allen. Written & directed by David Mamet.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Set in the west-side of the Los Angeles fight world, a world inhabited by bouncers, cage-fighters, cops and special forces-types, Redbelt is the story of Mike Terry (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a Jiu-jitsu teacher who has avoided the prize fighting circuit, choosing instead to pursue an honorable life by operating a self-defense studio with a samurai’s code.

Terry and his wife Sondra (Alice Braga), struggle to keep the business running to make ends meet. An accident on a dark, rainy night at the Academy, between an off duty officer (Max Martini) and a distraught lawyer (Emily Mortimer), puts in to motion a series of events that will change Terry’s life dramatically-introducing him to a world of promoters (Ricky Jay, Joe Mantegna) and movie star Chet Frank (Tim Allen). Faced with these challenges, and in order to pay off his debts and regain his honor, Terry must step into the ring for the first time of his life.

PREVIEW REVIEW: The substantial nature of this martial arts film, a true morality tale, one of the most absorbing I’ve seen in quite some time, is due both to the writing/direction of David Mamet and his formidable cast. Mamet doing a martial arts film? That’s right. He uses the genre to tell a tale of an honorable man surrounded by corrupted people who see little reason for life other than the accruing of money – no matter the destructive nature of their agendas. It may not be a masterpiece, but wisely and interestingly addresses principles that govern the human condition.

Of course, along with his well-structured dialogue, Mamet peppers his story with the f-word, a tradition of this filmmaker. But here, the writer seems to use objectionable language to relay the corruption of those whose pursuit of wealth has indeed become evil. Still, be warned, Mamet never met an obscenity he couldn’t use.

DVD alternative: The Winslow Boy. (1999) Nigel Hawthorne, Rebecca Pidgeon. Writer/director David Mamet (best known for his salty dialogue in most productions) has sensitively adapted Terence Rattigan's play about a barrister defending a youth accused of school theft. Genteel look at a father's determination to see justice done. A superb screenplay by Mr. Mamet, proving a story can be told without bombarding the viewer with profane and offensive material. G (I found nothing objectionable).

Or:

Requiem for a Heavyweight. A solid drama from Rod Serling about a fighter (Anthony Quinn) whose career in the ring is nearing its end as he faces corruption in the sport. Good performances from Jackie Gleason, Mickey Rooney and Julie Harris.

Distributor: Sony Pictures Classics

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Greg Kinnear, Dax Shepard, Romany Malco, Maura Tierney, Holland Taylor and Sigourney Weaver. Written and Directed by Michael McCullers.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Successful and single businesswoman Kate Holbrook (Tina Fey) has long put her career ahead of a personal life. Now 37, she’s finally determined to have a kid on her own. But her plan is thrown a curve ball after she discovers she has only a million-to-one chance of getting pregnant. Undaunted, the driven Kate allows South Philly working girl Angie Ostrowiski (Amy Poehler) to become her unlikely surrogate. Simple enough…

After learning from the steely head (Sigourney Weaver) of their surrogacy center that Angie is pregnant, Kate goes into precision nesting mode: reading childcare books, baby-proofing the apartment and researching top pre-schools. But the executive’s well-organized strategy is turned upside down when her Baby Mama shows up at her doorstep with no place to live.

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object as structured Kate tries to turn vibrant Angie into the perfect expectant mom. In a comic battle of wills, they will struggle their way through preparation for the baby’s arrival. And in the middle of this tug-of-war, they’ll discover two kinds of family: the one you’re born to and the one you make.

PREVIEW REVIEW: When attending a screening, the professional film reviewer must remain open, an exponent for the “promise of movies” theory. He must leave all prejudice at the boxoffice. The trailers for upcoming releases are a different matter. That’s when we can go all Addison DeWitt (the cynical critic in All About Eve). And that’s just what I and my colleagues in criticism did when we saw the commercial for Baby Mama. We could see every joke coming and cringed at the bevy of crude visuals, such as Amy Poehler crouched upon the bathroom sink, declaring that the toilet doesn’t work. But I couldn’t take my hastily formed opinion into the screening. Of course, by now, I’d have to be an idiot to think that former members of Saturday Night Live would do a movie comedy sans crude humor.

Tiny Fey is as sharp as a comic writer can come and Amy Poehler astounds with her sketch characterizations. These are two funny women (cynical, coarse and irreverent, but funny). The movie is not. Funny, that is. Cynical, coarse and irreverent, yes, but funny, no. Both Fey and Poehler are overworked, doing everything from credit card commercials to hit TV series to supporting cameos in all their buddies’ movies. They grab every project, knowing their days in the glow of Hollywood’s spotlight are limited. But their choices are not always wise.

Oh, sure, there are some laughs, but the humor never strays far from the bathroom. And when it does, it seems nearly as tired as the expressions on the leads’ faces. But worse yet, Tiny Fey is just not a very good actress. I understand that this time of the year is not yet reserved for Oscar attention. But this one couldn’t even get MTV’s attention.

DVD Alternatives: The Odd Couple. A very funny Neil Simon comedy about two very different men (Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau) sticking together out of necessity.

or

Enchanted April. A delightful fable about four women in 1920s London escaping inattentive husbands and repressed lifestyles by renting a castle in Portofino. They soon discover the estate has a magical effect on all those who stay there. Witty dialogue, dreamy cinematography, and savory performances from Joan Plowright, Polly Walker and the rest of the cast.

Distributor: Universal

Neil Dudgeon, Jessica Stevenson, Jules Sitruk. Comedy. Written & directed by Garth Jennings.

FILM SYNOPSIS: The story takes place in 1980s Britain, where young Will Proudfoot is raised in isolation among The Brethren, a puritanical religious sect in which music and TV are forbidden. Accidentally, he sees a bootlegged copy of Rambo: First Blood and it blows his imagination wide open. Now, Will sets out to join forces with the seemingly diabolical school bully, Lee Carter, to make their own action epic, devising wildly creative, on-the-fly stunts, all the while hiding out from The Brethren.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Both sensitive and amusing, the film is about friendship and the willingness to put others first. Though it takes a shot at the piousness of some religious folk who put the law before Christ’s love, the film is not antagonistic toward biblical matters. It just states that spiritual devotion is most effective when practiced by caring for others. At least that was my interpretation. I may be honoring the filmmaker more than he deserves.

Alas, the film is peppered with objectionable language, including a disrespectful use of Christ’s name, and mostly by a kid.

Though it is a tenderhearted movie, the misuse of our Savior’s name is just too abundant to be overlooked.

You may wish to try the following DVD alternatives to get the same message:

To Kill a Mockingbird. Horton Foote's winning screenplay of the Harper Lee novel about rural life, justice, honor and bigotry as seen through the eyes of a nine-year-old girl.

Or:

The Sandlot. The new boy in town struggles to become a member of the neighborhood baseball team. PG (a few mild expletives, one graphic scene where the kids get sick after chewing tobacco).

Or:

One Foot In Heaven. A devout minister (Fredric March) and family deal with the community and church life during changing early 1900s America. Fun scene has the good Reverend attending his first movie.

I would like to suggest Millions from 2005 since it is fairly new and that seems to be a prerequisite for some movie viewers. Alas, I can’t. Starting anew after the death of their mother, 9-year-old Anthony is ever practical, while his 7-year-old brother Damian uses imagination, fantasy, and faith to make sense of his confusing world. When a suitcase full of money falls out of the sky at Damian’s feet as he plays near the railroad tracks, it sets the boys on the adventure of a lifetime that leads them to realize that true wealth has nothing to do with money. The little boy believes so strongly in saints that he envisions them and has conversations concerning the directions he should take in life. I see this engaging PG film as morality play but for one scene. In it, Damian visualizes Saint Peter. During their discussion, the ever earthy Peter blasts out with an irreverent use of Christ’s name. So unexpected, it demanded a reaction from the startled audience, one that expressed itself through laughter. The actor portraying Peter continues by applying a humanistic explanation for the feeding of the 5,000. Turns out the miracle was not done by Jesus, but by the giving spirit of the people. It’s a subtle deflection from the godliness of Jesus. The filmmaker got his laugh, but he lost me.

Distributor: Paramount Vantage

Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Jeff Bridges, Shaun Toub and Gwyneth Paltrow. Written by Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway. Directed by Jon Favreau.

ILM SYNOPSIS: Paramount Pictures and Marvel Entertainment's big screen adaptation of Marvel's legendary Super Hero Iron Man will launch into theaters on May 2, 2008. Oscar(R) nominee Robert Downey Jr. stars as Tony Stark/Iron Man in the story of a billionaire industrialist and genius inventor who is kidnapped and forced to build a devastating weapon. Instead, using his intelligence and ingenuity, Tony builds a high-tech suit of armor and escapes captivity. When he uncovers a nefarious plot with global implications, he dons his powerful armor and vows to protect the world as Iron Man.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Smart and witty writing (considering the genre), involving direction, perhaps the best special effects I’ve seen, and actors doing what good actors do best, make this one of the best of the Marvel comics screen adaptations. True, the last third becomes top heavy with the standard combativeness we’ve already seen with the Fantastic foursome, the mutating Transformers and the go-go Power Rangers, but by then Mr. Downey and his supporting players have cast their spell, drawing us into a mesmerizing action adventure that’s also a morality tale.

I do have a concern. While it has a comic book feel, the amount of visceral violence gained the film a PG-13 rating. Because of the amount of violent imagery already aimed at kids by the world’s entertainment community, I question this film’s suitability for younger moviegoers. Indeed, when our protagonist found himself in a bad way, a traumatized child (way too young for such a movie) started screaming.

I was also disappointed, but not surprised, by the inclusion of several obscenities and even a couple of profane uses of God’s name. Is that language now appearing in the action comic books?

Distributor: Paramount Pictures and Marvel Entertainment

Richard Jenkins, Hiam Abbass, Haaz Sleiman , Danai Gurira. Comedy/drama. Written and Directed by Tom McCarthy.

FILM SYNOPSIS: A college professor becomes embroiled in the lives of a young immigrant couple living in New York City and stumbles into an unexpected romance as a result. As these strangers struggle to deal with their individual lives in a changed world, their shared humanity is revealed in awkward, humorous and dramatic ways.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Here’s what I loved about this film. It was a gentle character study about a man shut off from the world suddenly opening up to those around him. And the film points out that different nationalities can actually complement one another. That’s not a conservative or liberal consensus. Or shouldn’t be. We are like pieces of a puzzle designed to work together in order to make a living, breathing picture. I know, it sounds like I’m going to start handing out daises. But when we get past the barriers of politics we start coming together, appreciating the gifts God has given all of us.

The film is well cast down to the smallest roles, the direction seamless and though the pacing will be slow to those more accustomed to action thrillers than dramatic character studies, still there is a rhythm and a rhyme to the story that maintains an interest.

Alas, though I understand the filmmaker’s agenda – to tell a personal story that will aid in changing our immigration system - still it’s a pretty one-sided argument. We see a good man deported, separated from his family and his dreams of a better life here in the U.S. The filmmaker may be asking us to examine alternatives, or perhaps he’s just condemning us. But it must not be forgotten that while this is a good man, he is here illegally.

I’m always amazed at which laws people will uphold and which they will ignore. I don’t consider myself an authority on immigration, but shouldn’t laws be changed rather than just ignored. That said, at least this filmmaker is opening the question to debate. Debate is good. True art makes you think and feel. This film does both.

Distributor: Overture Films

John Cho, Kal Penn. Comedy. Written & directed by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg – and maybe Jack Daniels.

FILM SYNOPSIS: The same morning that Harold and Kumar eat at White Castle, Harold learns that Maria, the girl he lusts after, has set off for Amsterdam. The pair decide to pursue her so Harold can proclaim his love. However, an overzealous airline passenger mistakes Kumar for a terrorist, and the plane is diverted as the duo get stuck in a case of mistaken identity.

PREVIEW REVIEW: I’m trying to find something new to say about this recent adolescent comedy. Let’s see, I’ve already used the following words and phrases to describe today’s direction in film comedy: crude, vulgar, exploitive, cheap, easy, irreverent, offensive, profane, stupid, inane and frat-mindedly base. Now, I could open my Roget’s Thesaurus, but I feel nearly as lazy as the filmmakers, so let’s just use the same words to describe this attempt at cashing in on slacker/stoner humor.

Though I hadn’t seen the first film, I was aware that it was about stoners. And knowing the sensibilities of today’s comic filmmakers, I knew this sequel wouldn’t be filled with the wit and wisdom of Noel Coward. But I had noooooo idea what I was getting myself into.

It’s not that there aren’t some laughs, or that the two stars don’t have comic chops. It’s just that since the main moments that brought laughter from the audience weren’t generated from scatological and anatomical activities, why base the entire film around them? Those visuals and vocals seemed to just bring moans or startled reactions (“I can’t believe I just saw that”). Again, I ask, why rely so heavily upon gross-out gags? Because there is an audience for such amusement. While most “stoner” movies don’t do all that well at the box office, they often generate big revenue once put on DVD. Could this possibly be because real-life stoners enjoy these movies best when they themselves are home alone, partaking of forbidden substances? Nah, no one would do that. That would be illegal.

Please read the attached reasons for the rating. Though I normally attempt to be discreet with my content descriptions, I’ll be rather graphic here in order to let you understand just how far these filmmakers are willing to push the envelope of bad taste.

Though my description of the film’s nudity may be enticing to adolescents (of all ages) I would hope they would keep this in mind. The media is bombarding you with sexual images. Indeed, it’s difficult to avoid all the sexual imagery in our culture. Aren’t you feeling manipulated by moviemakers? You should be. These films aim at our baser instincts. They are ultimately unfulfilling and merely aid in setting back social behavior. Keep in mind, whenever we try to avoid temptations and self-gratification at the expense of others, it honors God, the opposite sex and ultimately that one special person destined for your life. I know, that sounds corny. What’s right often does.

Distributor: Warner Bros

FILM SYNOPSIS: This investigative documentary probes the snubbing of scientists and teachers who teach the theory of intelligent design. Ben Stein, who’s had an eclectic career ranging from presidential speech writer to droning actor (he played the blaze teacher in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off), hosts this outing of those determined to prevent the creationist hypothesis. Mr. Stein interviews respected scientists and teachers who have lost their jobs and/or careers because of their desire just to be open to ideas other than evolution.

PREVIEW REVIEW: With touches of cynical humor and moments of thoughtful reasoning, the filmmakers take on a system that has long since said that there is no place for the concept of intelligent design outside Sunday morning worship. Indeed, in the halls of prejudicial academia, spiritual matters have become archaic. And when someone has the nerve to test the theory that man came from fish in the sea or apes in the trees or a big cosmic bang, not only are they ridiculed by many in the field of science, they are also ridiculed by the media (hence the overwhelming negative reviews from the secular press).

What an eye opener this has been. Movie critics, so proud of their liberal and objective stances, are clearly dominated by personal views and agendas. After reading some of the poisoned-pen smears of this film by many of my colleagues in criticism, I have come to the conclusion that they demand not only separation of church from state, but of church from anything. Their so-called open-mindedness only extends so far as to the boundaries of their own beliefs.

I must point out that there are exceptions to that previous statement. I know people in the press who are positive role models for the term “liberal,” in that they debate, but also listen to the views of others. They are, however, few and far between.

Admittedly, the film has an agenda. It mocks the narrowness of man’s all-knowing, all-seeing intellect conceit. Stein and his team use any means to make cartoons of evolutionists, including the actual use of cartoons to do it. Stein attacks them much the way Michael Moore does everyone else. Of course, Moore’s tactics are generally accepted as filmmaking tools to make an entertaining point. Stein’s, however, are mocked as amusement and denounced as disingenuous and deceitful.

The makers of Expelled are using the very stratagem documentarians have used to puncture Detroit, McDonald’s and church hierarchies. Ah, the evolutionary worm turns. The film is thought-provoking, amusing and scary because it points out that our nation’s schools, which once embraced a reverence for God and spiritual concepts, are now manned by those who don’t.

Distributor: Premise

Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Michael Angarano. Action/adventure/sci-fi. Written by John Fusco. Directed by Rob Minkoff.

FILM SYNOPSIS: An American teen is transported back in time to ancient China, where he joins a crew of warriors to help free the king, who has been placed under a spell and turned into stone.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Jackie Chan and Jet Li, both in the same kick-action thriller! If only Bruce Lee was still with us and in this one, that would make it the trifecta of what’s respectfully referred to as “kick-suey” action fantasies.

You don’t have to worry about any faux-literate verbiage or deep social messages. This film is just pure escapism, filled to the brim with martial arts kicks and flips and lighthearted absurdity. I suppose you could find some symbolism and perhaps the characters are representative of good and evil, but I think it’s stretching it a bit to find our young hero to be a messianic figure. This is just a fine example of the genre, with Mr. Li and Mr. Chan doing what they do best. Both actors display a good sense of humor and both choreograph the martial arts battles with all the aplomb of a Fred Astaire dance sequence. (That’s a compliment, for those who don’t know Fred Astaire.) It lacks the artistry and substance of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and though the plot does little more than a cameo, still it generates whimsy and the leads are likeable.

The fly in the dim sum, however, is the incessant violence. While it is supposed to be whimsical, and though we come to expect one martial arts battle after another in these films, there are also some jolting acts of brutality that detract from the playful tone. An old man is shot by a gang of modern day teens, while others are killed by sword, knives and slings and arrows. I suppose your level of acceptance will rely upon your appreciation for the genre. If you like martial arts movies, I’d say this is a pretty good one. If you see very few of them, you may object to the amount of physical pummeling.

Distributor: Lionsgate

Skewering comic documentary from Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me).

FILM SYNOPSIS: Witty documentarian Morgan Spurlock has recovered from the overeating he did at McDonald’s for his Super Size Me. Now he’s taking on the political world. He trains like a secret agent and travels to the Middle East to do what the FBI, the CIA and all of America’s military might can’t do: find the world’s leading terrorist. Throughout his mission he talks to political and military leaders as well as ordinary citizens of Egypt, Pakistan, and Afghanistan, seeking their views of America and Osama. It’s flippant at times, poignant at others, as Spurlock himself questions America’s political strategy.

PREVIEW REVIEW: I suppose there are two ways of perceiving this film. It could be seen as a biting satire of the ineptness and corruption of our government, not just in its handling of Iraq, but with almost every other American intervention. Or, perhaps the film can be seen as an indictment of all nations in general. Either way, such films – and there have been a bunch of them in the past two years – wallow in America’s faults and foibles without suggesting its strengths. Overall, they give the impression that our enemies have more soul, while we are the devils.

Here the filmmaker says he loves his country, yet I see no indication of that affection. Perhaps he does. So, why not relay some positives to the world concerning our agendas and our makeup. Both our people and our government have been there countless times to feed and inoculate those in need of food and medicine. We’ve sacrificed countless lives in order to stabilize the world and defeat tyranny. And once we defeated those who attempted to destroy us, we turned around and helped rebuild their land and generate their economy. I can’t remember when a filmmaker attempted to remind the world of those facts.

After WWII, when Russia was exacting revenge upon Germany by closing off Berlin from the rest of the world, literally starving that city to death, America and England revealed their Anglo compassion. We came to Berlin’s aid by having our flyers drop supplies at their own peril, including candy for kids. In order to not be confrontational with Russian military, our planes were unarmed. Hmmm, never saw a film about that.

A couple of years after Iran held Americans hostage, that country underwent a devastating earthquake. Who was the first to send aid? Oh, yeah, America. Hmmm. Never saw that movie, either.

Mr. Spurlock’s comedy is amusing, but his perspective is limited and naïve. Though he takes a few swipes at the ignorance and hostility of some in Muslim nations, he seems accepting of anyone’s on-camera quotes concerning America or Osama. Right now when U. S. citizens are most confused about our presence in Iraq, Spurlock’s position seems justified. But does this perspective include all the facts – or has he chosen just those that give strength to his agenda?

Distributor: The Weinstein Company

Jason Segel, Paul Rudd, Kristen Bell, Mila Kunis. Comedy. Written by Jason Segel. Directed by Nicholas Stoller.

FILM SYNOPSIS: From the producers of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up comes a comic look at a sloppy slacker’s arduous quest to get over the heartbreak of being dumped by his fiancée. After an unsuccessful bout of womanizing and an on-the-job nervous breakdown, he sets out to clear his head by vacationing in Hawaii. But the nightmare continues when he discovers his ex and her hip new British-rocker boyfriend have checked into the same hotel.

PREVIEW REVIEW: One step at a time, one film at a time, a young generation has become consumed by the crassness, vulgarity and bad taste that masquerades as comic entertainment. Teens and twenty-somethings must assume by now that all humor comes from jolting shock value, because, with few exceptions, that’s all they’re presented at the local cineplex. In Roget’s Thesaurus, behind the word comedy, nineteen synonyms are listed, including comedy of manners, farce, satire, slapstick, play of wit and burlesque. None of these terms honestly describes the efforts of many of today’s comic filmmakers. Most funnymen of today mine their gags from below the surfaces of bawdy and burlesque.

The easiest way to make someone laugh is by surprising them with a visual that counters public decency. We are told from childhood that we shouldn’t pass gas in front of someone or discuss the functions of the male penis in front of the opposite sex. So, when someone does these things on screen, it evokes a stunned reaction, which is then released through involuntary laughter, much like a sneeze. This sort of visual is not generated from clever wit, but rather, from sophomoric startlement. Frankly, it bugs me. Writers of whimsy are either told by studio honchos to write down (which should insult moviegoers) or they just don’t have the imagination to come up with a humorous view of the human condition without the aid of scatological coarseness. And that’s my problem with this film. Its humor never strays far from the bathroom.

Jason Segel, who displays a gentle side on How I Met Your Mother and a buffoonish Neanderthal in Knocked Up, has written the screenplay, giving himself the lead. Not that he should be proud of that achievement. We’ve seen this same boorish man-child dozens of times in the past few years. He’s a slob, like most of Will Ferrell’s man-childs. Indeed, ever since The Odd Couple’s Oscar Madison declared “I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches,” the screen perception of the male bachelor has been that of an unkempt, uncouth slob. Well, not in my house. Felix Unger is my hero. But I digress.

Austin Power’s Mike Myers has confessed that there are no limits to where screen humor should be mined – high or low brow chuckles are all the same. So, along with his clever concept of Dr. Evil guesting on a Jerry Springer show, musing over the difficulties of being a super villain, he has also created Fat Bastard, an obese antagonist who spends much of his screen time describing his need to defecate. Will Ferrell adheres to this anything-for-a-laugh philosophy by running around in what seems nearly every film covered only by dingy underwear. And now Jason Segel follows in this mindset, by shedding his boxers to display his hind quarters, and on several occasions also revealing the man-child’s favorite organ. (That visual resulted in lots of giggles from an astonished screening audience – the first time. By the third exposure, we began to wonder if Mr. Segel supplemented his income by doing porno.)

Now, don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that viewing a bared private part will lead us all back to cave-dwelling. I am suggesting – with the evidence of each proceeding envelope-pushing comic movie to back up my theory – that film humor is getting more prurient and less smart. You’re being insulted and cheated by filmmakers who get rich by aiming down.

This may seem more a critique of our culture than of this movie. But how else do you review this film? Universal Studios has enough money to hire a competent cameraman and enough loot to take cast and crew to pretty locations. And because they’ve been making comedies for a hundred years, they know how to tickle the funny bone. Today’s producers just give ticket buyers what they want. Or at least what they are willing to accept.

DVD alternatives: The Awful Truth. This classic screwball comedy has Cary Grant and Irene Dunne as a divorced couple sabotaging each other’s new relationships. Grant reveals his expert touch with physical and verbal comic timing. Forget its age, it’s a perfect comedy.

Or:

I.Q. (1994) Walter Matthau, Meg Ryan, Tim Robbins. Albert Einstein has fun putting aside his physics to play Cupid for his pedantic niece and the local good guy/car mechanic. Romantic, literate and downright funny. PG (one scene features sexual double entendre and there are two mild expletives, but I caught no sexual situations, violence, or obscene language).

Distributor: Universal

George Clooney, Renée Zellweger, John Krasinski, Jonathan Pryce. Romantic comedy. Written by Duncan Brantley & Rick Reilly. Directed by George Clooney.

FILM SYNOPSIS: This quick-witted romantic comedy is set against the backdrop of America’s nascent pro-football league in 1925. Clooney plays Dodge Connolly, a charming, brash football hero who is determined to guide his team from bar brawls to packed stadiums. But after the players lose their sponsor and the entire league faces certain collapse, Dodge convinces a college football star to join his ragtag ranks. The captain hopes his latest move will help the struggling sport finally capture the country’s attention.

Welcome to the team Carter Rutherford (John Krasinski), America’s favorite son. A golden-boy war hero who single-handedly forced multiple German soldiers to surrender in WWI, Carter has dashing good looks and unparalleled speed on the field. This new champ is almost too good to be true, and Lexie Littleton (Zellweger) aims to prove that’s the case. A cub journalist playing in the big leagues, Lexie is a spitfire newswoman who suspects there are holes in Carter’s war story. But while she digs, the two teammates start to become serious off-field rivals for her fickle affections.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Just one fly in the ointment. We’ll get to that in a moment. First, the positive. George Clooney is incredibly gifted. His looks and persona resonate with those of the stars of Hollywood’s Golden Era. (Burt Lancaster and Clark Gable had nothing on this guy.) He’s a true movie star and a talented actor as sly with comedy (O Brother, Where Art Thou?) as he is provocative with drama (Michael Clayton). What’s more, he seems to have spent time watching the work of the masters, from John Ford and Orson Welles to Lubitsch and Cukor, (not to mention the Coen Brothers), for he now applies the same sparkle to the films he directs. To top off his gifts, he’s wise. He surrounds himself with cinematographers, art and set decorators and other technicians who make him look brilliant. He knows when to rein in actors and when to give them screen space. Indeed, performers like working with him because he makes them feel important and they trust his judgement. And from all indications, Mr. Clooney is a nice guy. Man, he’s got it packaged, doesn’t he? When it comes to making movies, he’s as good as you get.

And so is this film. With more than a wink and a nod to His Girl Friday, handsome Clooney and hubba-hubba Zellweger banter with zesty repartee seldom seen in today’s movies. With its brassy score, golden hue look, and award-worthy art and set decoration, plus a witty script that incorporates the right touches of zaniness, whimsy and heart, the production is the best film of the year – well, so far.

Now for that ointment-covered fly. Mr. Clooney uses the expression “G..D…” in nearly every film he stars. He does it here, as well. And to prove that women are just as emancipated as men, Ms. Zellweger also uses the profane term. Now, I’ve gone on about this misuse of God’s name a great deal in the past. You know where I stand. Don’t have to say anymore. I realize that. But if the world’s biggest movie star uses it in every film, no matter the genre, I intend to rebuff its use and the actor’s ignoring of the fourth Commandment as often as he brakes God’s rules. (By the way, the film is all about the fun of breaking all the rules.)

All right, so profanity is irreverence toward God, big deal. In the grand scheme of things, profanity falls short as one of the great no-nos. Right? Wrong! Showing reverence toward the Almighty, which includes not taking His name in vain, is right at the top of the list of Ten Commandments, found in Exodus 20. This ruling comes before covetness, adultery and, yes, killing. “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name” (Exodus 20:4 NIV).

Every time I hear George Clooney take God’s name in vain I wonder if he knows it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard to Believers? Would that fact make him more circumspect concerning its use?

Distributor: Universal

Jodie Foster, Abigail Breslin, Gerard Butler. Action/adventure/sci-fi/comedy.

FILM SYNOPSIS: A young girl’s imagination rules the island she and her dad call home. It is an existence that mirrors that of her favorite literary character, Alex Rover - the world's greatest adventurer. But Alexandra, the author of the Rover books, leads a reclusive life in the big city – just her, her quirks, and the imaginary protagonist of her bestsellers. When Nim's aquatic scientist father gets lost at sea, the ten-year-old (played by the much older Breslin) gets spooked by a suddenly smoking volcano, the scrape on her knee and the approaching ship with the name Buccaneer. With the aid of a laptop and a twist of fate, Nim is about to be rescued by the phobic author of her favorite books.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Rather than a love/hate response to the screening, my emotional reaction is more of a like/ho-hum response. For non-discriminating children, it’s passable entertainment. After all, it’s a kid ruling an island surrounded by adoring sea lions and smarter-than-the-average pelicans, and a volcano to explore. But once they get to the point where children ask questions about credibility, I think even they will become disenchanted.

As for accompanying adults, most will become fidgety after the promising beginning begins to remind them of TV’s Flipper. Ms. Breslin is nearing that awkward age, when cuteness takes a backseat to adolescent awkwardness. As for Ms. Foster, well, her performance explains why she doesn’t do more comedy.

Nim sleeps with her head resting on the back of a walrus that never seems to get into the water, and her pet pelican squawks and honks communication to his (or her) humans with all the reasoning ability of Bullwinkle’s Mr. Peabody, the pedantic dog who traveled through time. Alexandra Rover displays every neuroses of TV’s Monk, without the comic prowess of Tony Shalhoub, and Nim, who’s supposed to be bright and helpful to her scientist father, doesn’t know how to care for a scraped knee. And the invading pirates turn out to be non-threatening tourists from a cruise ship, disappointing as there is no climatic battle scene. Then there’s that volcano that threatens to erupt. By film’s end, it’s quickly forgotten. Not a phrase studio publicists want to hear – “quickly forgotten.”

But it’s not a bad film. Like I said, kids may get a kick out of it. Parents, bring a book.

Distributor: Fox/Walden

Owen Wilson, Leslie Mann, David Dorfman, Danny McBride and Josh Peck. Written by Kristofor Brown & Seth Rogen. Directed by Steven Brill.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Ryan (Troy Gentile), Wade (Nate Hartley) and Emmit (David Dorfman) attend their first day at high school and they’re pumped…until they meet up with Filkins (Alex Frost), a school bully who comes off like a little Hannibal Lecter. Before they become completely engulfed in Filkins’ reign of terror, they seek out some protection by placing an ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine. Their best response – and the cheapest – comes from Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), a down-on-his luck soldier of fortune who lives a homeless – he likes to say “home-free” – existence on the beach. He enrolls them in some physical and mental training, while planning on ripping off their parents.

PREVIEW REVIEW: There are moments of amusement, but it lacks any punch either as a comedy or as a life lesson. The audience laughs while the overweight kid stuffs an entire Twinkie into his mouth, the skinny kid tries to find a muscle as he stands in front of a full-length mirror, and the writers vomit out every teen theme we’ve already been forced to digest from the past twenty years. While these caricatures could have represented adolescent angst, here they are used only as comic fodder. Trying to find humor in any other aspect of this charmless scrapyard of a comedy is more of a chore than doing high school homework.

I think everyone involved has talent, it’s just not well represented here. Everything is forced, from the portrayal of the demonic bully who has all the adults fooled, to the quirky charm of the film’s star. It’s not the worst movie of the year. But by the time we critics begin making such lists, this film will be completely forgotten.

Distributor: Paramount

Angela Bassett, Rick Fox, Jenifer Lewis, David Mann. Comedy. Written, directed, produced and floors swept by Tyler Perry.

FILM SYNOPSIS: A working mother who’s just lost her job suddenly learns that the father she never met has just passed away. Desperate for help, she attends the funeral in Georgia and gets to know her bizarre and sometimes crude Southern family. While there she also meets a man who may change her life.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Mr. Perry doesn’t like nor feel a need for film critics. Why should he? They usually find fault with his work and his fan base is loyal every opening weekend. It’s a frustration for this reporter as Mr. Perry is one of the few filmmakers who manage to inject some spirituality into his films. He’s not afraid to show a character pray or show people attending church services. Of course, he never allows such themes to override crude humor, but at least he unapologetically states that we are spiritual beings as well as mental and physical.

While we reviewers could nitpick concerning his filmmaking skills, my main problem with his work is that he tries to do it all. Some great filmmakers can, some can’t. Charlie Chaplin could. Jerry Lewis couldn’t. (Mr. Lewis was always at his best when others wrote, directed and produced his films – The Nutty Professor being the rule’s exception.)

There’s a dose of faith here, and several discussions about doing the right thing there, but as with all of Mr. Perry’s productions (he’s played Media, the granny with an attitude, in several of his films), the characters are more stick people than fully realized, and the story excessive where I think the filmmaker meant to be profound. Had he allowed others to take control of his script and directing chores, the faults may have been corrected.

Allow me to explain why this review was so late. Mr. Perry does not like critics and because of the opening support his productions get, he doesn’t feel required to allow us to preview his work. While this seems logical (he is very wealthy and attendance is high), still, critiquing films is a part of the movie-releasing mix. Moviemaking is an artistic endeavor; therefore it must be examined. While few filmmakers pay heed to the reviewer’s insights, they owe their audience the right to be informed. What’s more, Mr. Perry needs to start listening to others. Oh, he can stay on this same coarse, but to take his abilities to a higher plane, he needs to let other pros do their jobs.

Though a filmmaker has a vision of how he or she wants the film to look, it’s a communal artistry and functions best when professionals are allowed to apply their trade by doing what they do best. Though egocentric moviemakers end up wealthy, their petulance and egomania do the art form a disservice.

Don’t let studios and egocentric moviemakers dictate to you what you will see or not. Wait until the reviews come out so you can get an idea of what the film is about and read the content (the reason for the rating), usually supplied by Christian reviewers, in order to judge its suitability. ‘Cause once they have your bucks, they win.

Distributor: Lionsgate

Jim Carrey, Steve Carell, Seth Rogen, Carol Burnett. Kids/Family Animated. Written by Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio. Directed by Jimmy Hayward, Steve Martino.

FILM SYNOPSIS: The imaginative elephant Horton hears a cry for help coming from a tiny speck of dust floating through the air. Suspecting there may be life on that speck and despite a surrounding community that thinks he has lost his mind, Horton is determined to help.

PREVIEW REVIEW: It has a great look, and certainly it is family friendly, but the whimsy of Dr. Seuss is missing in this version of the Doctor’s classic. Far better than the previous two live-action Dr. Seuss stolen classics (How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Cat in the Hat), these filmmakers wisely chose to do an animated version and Mr. Carrey gives us a gentler, less manic side of his persona as Horton, but the metaphoric tale has been stretched just a little beyond its welcome. New dialogue has been added, the rhyming removed (mostly), and the melodious narration of Hans Conried in the 1970 TV cartoon is nowhere to be found. Updated to include references to global warming in order to satisfy those who believe Manhattan will soon be drenched in melted glaciers, the CG heavy feature becomes a hypnotic eco message – a long one.

Kids may enjoy the movement, the color and the manic humor, but I suspect some will get nearly as fidgety by the third act as accompanying adults. My choice would be to buy the recently released animated TV version (make your own popcorn). The remastered DVD came out March 4 and contains three bonus episodes from the best of Dr. Seuss, including Butter Battle Book, Daisy-Head Mayzie and Horton Hatches the Egg! Also included: a kid-friendly sing-a-long music video and an Emmy nominated 90-minute documentary hosted by actress Kathy Najimy. The documentary tells the story of Dr. Seuss’ life through celebrity skits, music and animated clips from his best-loved stories.

Distributor: 20th Century Fox

AnnaSophia Robb, Charlize Theron, Nick Stahl, Dennis Hopper, Woody Harrrelson. Drama. Written by Zac Stanford. Directed by William Maher.

FILM SYNOPSIS: When her boyfriend is arrested, a woman and her 11-year-old daughter move in with her brother. Disgusted with herself for not providing a stable home life for her daughter, the woman takes off in the night, leaving the unqualified bachelor uncle to care for the girl. They begin to bond, but more trouble awaits. He loses his job, that same day he receives an eviction notice, and the county shows up to place his niece into foster care. Of course, she’s unhappy about this, because the other kids are mistreating her. So, the two sneak off, road-tripping, hoping for a better life. But here comes another obstacle to the happy-ever-after. The young man, also emotionally wounded by an uncaring father, takes his niece back to his father’s farm. The father is abusive, always has been, always will be. This leads to violence before the ending credits.

PREVIEW REVIEW: The deep moral lesson: today is the first day of the rest of your life. But before the girl gets a hug from her mother and the uncle drives off into the sunset, they go through an endless array of indignities, injustices and emotional energies. I mean, these people go through a plague of problems. My first reaction to this excess was that it was overdone, heavy-handed, melodramatic and false. But to be fair to the filmmaker, some people are beleaguered by life’s travels. Indeed, problems seldom come in ones for any of us. So I underwent the bleakness of the entire film in hopes of a positive ending message. SPOILER ALERT: The father, played with venomous abandon by Dennis Hopper, has beaten his son down mentally, treating him with disdain and without the slightest indication of love. He begins doing the same to his granddaughter. And when he starts slapping her around, well, his son has had enough and beats the old man to death with a shovel. Now, here’s why I give away this plot point. Watching the Dennis Hopper character slapping the girl after he has humiliated his own son, I was right there picking up that shovel along with his son, beating that monster to death. As I left the theater, I felt uncomfortable with my violent reaction – even toward such a villainous screen character. The movie managed to illicit an emotional reaction from me. But was it a reaction I should be having?

There’s much pent-up rage in each character and never do any of them seek a spiritual healing. Towards the end, he tells his niece that she has awakened him, that he has spent his life sleepwalking. But I didn’t see a formidable resolution. I mean he murders his father and feels nothing but relief. When he tells the niece that “today is the first day of the rest of your life,” the truism seems rather anemic. The filmmakers (Charlize Theron is one of the producers) offer no satisfying conclusion to life’s difficulties.

If anything, the film points out that we continue to make the same mistakes. I assume that’s a deliberately placed theme. As I say, there doesn’t seem to be a real resolution. The young man leaves in a truck, with no driver’s license or money. The girl and her mother reunite, but the woman still has no job or place for them to live. What’s been addressed? They missed each other? Things could be worse? The filmmakers go out of their way to avoid the happy Hollywood ending, which most “artists” hate. But there doesn’t seem to be a legitimate path given as an example how to better your circumstances. I suppose the filmmakers would disagree with my conclusion.

I understand Ms. Theron underwent a nightmarish childhood. Fortunately for her, she was endowed with great looks and an equal amount of great talent. These tools helped her rise above her circumstances. But I don’t see how her example is helpful to those not so blessed.

I found the film frustrating and dispiriting. Heck, it would dispirit Tennessee Williams.

DVD Alternative: Tender Mercies. Robert Duvall stars as a country western singer on the skids until a religious widow and her little boy take him in. The film addresses many of the same topics, but includes a spirituality missing in Sleepwalking. Rated PG for some objectionable language in the beginning. But when the Christian woman has an effect on his life, out goes the profanity. Oscars went to Duvall and writer Horton Foote.

Distributor: Overture Films/Paramount

Martin Lawrence, Raven-Symone. Family comedy. Written by Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio, Emi Mochizuki. Directed by Roger Kumble.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Melanie (Raven-Symone) is eagerly looking forward to her first big step towards independence when she plans a “girls only” road trip to check out prospective universities. But when her overprotective police chief father (Martin Lawrence) insists on escorting her instead, she soon finds her dream trip has turned into a frustrating nightmare adventure full of comical misfortune and turmoil.

PREVIEW REVIEW: This is one of those films that must be graded on a curve. Credit must be given to the filmmakers for their desire to make a clean comedy. Martin Lawrence in a G-rated movie? Points for that. But it’s also a comedy where mugging, eye-rolling and a whole lot of slapstick pass for wittiness.

It’s nice to see a gentle comedy, but the soul of comedy demands some bite. Alas, though everyone’s heart was it the right place, this one is toothless. There, that’s said for adults looking for satire or bawdiness. Now for the analysis most useful for little ones and accompanying parents.

What a pleasure to see a comedian such as Martin Lawrence, renown for his sharp-tongued, but often crude wit, aim an entire movie at the family. Though much of the film’s humor depends on excessive behavior, Mr. Lawrence manages to give his over-protective father a charm and warmth. And the story doesn’t just use the father-lets-his-daughter-go plotline as a source of humor, but also manages to poignantly examine how parents feel when their child leaves the nest. Fathers will relate to the film’s protective papa, nodding their head as Mr. Lawrence deals with his daughter’s obliviousness to her dad’s distress.

Raven-Symone is a competent co-star, letting Mr. Lawrence do all the heavy lifting, yet supporting the comedy structure. She plays the straight man, if you will, much like Dean Martin did for Jerry Lewis for ten years before audiences realized Dean was funnier.

Added to the main storyline, there’s the other child, a Poindexter type genius-in-training who plays chess with a pet pig and sends offers of assistance to the Secretary of Defense. And of course, Pops and the pig don’t get along. But, they are family, so even they stick together when problems arise.

It’s all silly. And to enjoy the silliness, it helps to be in a lighthearted mood, being open to silly antics. It also helps to have little ones in tow. Children in the screening audience quickly took to the movie’s characters. The parents next to me seemed to enjoy the film based on their little girl’s reactions. She loved the mugging, the eye-rolling and, yeah, the chess-playing pig.

Funny, family fun, it’s slapstick with a heart. Folks, we’re always complaining that Hollywood doesn’t provide family entertainment. Here’s one. I’m guessing Martin Lawrence makes more of them if this one does well.

Distributor: Disney

Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis. Epic Adventure. Written by Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser. Directed by Roland Emmerich.

FILM SYNOPSIS: The story takes place during a fanciful, mythical age of prophesies and gods, when spirits rule the land and mighty mammoths shake the earth. In a remote mountain tribe, the young hunter, D’Leh (Steven Strait), has found his heart’s passion – the beautiful Evolet (Camilla Belle). When a band of mysterious warlords raid his village and kidnap Evolet, D’Leh is forced to lead a small group of hunters to pursue the warlords to the end of the world to save her. Driven by destiny, the unlikely band of warriors must battle saber-tooth tigers and prehistoric predators and, at their heroic journey’s end, they uncover a Lost Civilization. Their ultimate fate lies in an empire beyond imagination, where great pyramids reach into the skies. Here they will take their stand against a powerful god who has brutally enslaved their people.

PREVIEW REVIEW: There’s no swearing in this movie. They could barely speak, let alone come up with satisfactory invectives, and obviously no one could misuse Jesus name – it’s B. C. Not even Hollywood could overlook that fact. And the trailer (the theatrical commercial) was solid. It was exciting seeing all those hairy elephants stepping on falling cave folk. Unfortunately, those are about the only qualities contained in Roland Emmerich and Harald Kloser script, or director Roland Emmerich completed production. For despite all the special effects (it’s laden with them), and the battle-saturated action, the film is, well boring. I don’t know, maybe I’ve outgrown my enthusiasm for dinosaur movies, but this film goes nowhere and takes a lot of our time attempting to get there. The anachronistic dialogue, the uninteresting leading couple, and the film’s pacing are unsatisfying. King Kong (the 1931 version) was a morality play, and contained armchair-grabbing original effects for its time (still holds up). Jurassic Park was funny and energized (no expense was spared). 10,000 B. C., however, is devoid of humor (well, intentional humor), originality, or excitement.

As for the Voodoo-like priestess or the film’s “spiritual” leanings, I wouldn’t worry that this will mislead youngsters. Frankly, it’s difficult to take anything here seriously, especially its take on early religion. I doubt many are going for its depiction of spiritual matters. They want to see primitive man up against prehistoric beasties. And there will also be those hoping for cave women in fur-lined bikinis. They will be disappointed. All the cave chicks wear dreadful-looking dreadlock wigs and layers of body concealing mammoth skins.

DVD Alternatives: Journey to the Center of the Earth (silly, but fun), King Kong (the original).

Distributor: Warner Bros./ Legendary Pictures

Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows. Comedy/drama/thriller. Written by Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais. Directed by Roger Donaldson.

FILM SYNOPSIS: A used car dealer is persuaded by a beautiful woman to participate in a bank heist. What they don’t count on is that, along with all the jewels and dough, there are secrets hidden in the safe deposit boxes that thrust them into a deadly web of corruption and illicit scandal that spans London's criminal underworld, the highest echelons of the British government, and the Royal Family itself. Supposedly based on a true story, there are incriminating photos in the vault that could bring down a Malcolm X type, a porn king and a royal princess.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Fast paced, intense and well acted, it’s a good action/adventure/drama. But in keeping with today’s heist-film capers, we find ourselves rooting for the thieves. While they inadvertently expose other villains, their goal is to steal from others. In most bank robbery movies, the victim is the bank, as if that makes the crime more acceptable. Here, if you look beneath the varnished story, the fact that thieves don’t care that they are stealing from others is brought home. And Hollywood doesn’t care that they make heroes out of them. At one point, the male lead says he’s afraid of living and dying without something to show for it. It’s a good line and a great sentiment. But is stealing from others so that you can have an oversized house and a boat a worthwhile legacy? I know, I know, it’s just a movie. I’m sure it won’t really give others lawless ideas.

DVD Alternatives: (For a serious heist job gone wrong) The Asphalt Jungle. This is a gripping tale of a robbery that slowly falls apart. Yes, it’s old; yes it’s in B&W. But if you can put away a prejudice for films in those categories, you’ll most likely be swept up in its quiet intensity.

(For a comic alternative) It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. Wrongdoing is not rewarded in either of these films. Rather, greed is exposed for what it is – soul sucking.

Or: Larceny, Inc. Edward G. Robinson stars in this comic caper of ex-cons using a luggage store as a front for their nefarious activities. Again, it’s old, but it’s an amusing morality tale. And besides, can someone explain to me why we can’t watch old movies?

Distributor: Lionsgate

Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Eric Bana, Kristin Scott Thomas, Jim Sturgess. Historical Drama. Written by Peter Morgan. Directed by Justin Chadwick.

FILM SYNOPSIS: The Other Boleyn Girl tells the story of two beautiful sisters, Anne (Natalie Portman) and Mary (Scarlett Johansson) Boleyn, who, driven by their family’s blind ambition, compete for the love of the handsome and passionate King Henry VIII (Eric Bana). While both women eventually share the king’s bed, only one will ascend to the throne for a brief and turbulent reign that ends tragically with a swing of the executioner’s sword.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Is it a sign of the times that the telling of English history must be done with a soap opera treatment and star two American babes in order to draw today’s movie crowd? Okay, maybe calling Ms. Johansson and Ms. Portman babes is unfair. I like both and both are very talented. Short, but talented. And they are what hold this melodrama together. Without their intense effort, the script would become laughable. As it is, the screenplay is more like a condensed year’s worth of All My Children. Indeed, there are moments when Portman’s Anne is more Erica Kane than historical figure.

I’m sure Shakespeare took many themes from the tales of good King Henry. The life of the portly sovereign is not a mere page in history; it’s an entire set of annals. But as we have seen from other treatments (Anne of the Thousand Days, or Shakespeare’s play King Henry the Eighth), it was rife with decidedly dramatic detail. Here, it’s lavish, but lightweight. And while the eyes of the female leads constantly fill with tears, a true emotion never spills forth.

As we all know from high school history, or in my case, movies, Henry was a bit of a glutton. Before he was even done with his mutton leg, he was on the phone to Domino’s. And when it came to the ladies, well, they were as disposable as “finger-lickin’ good” chicken bones. And because he feared excommunication for the act of divorce, he just had their heads whacked off. To further hedge his bets, he formed his own church, one that didn’t frown so much on divorce or the whacking of wives.

The film is colorful, the attempt sincere, but I suspect the presentation will be more satisfying to devotees of daytime serials than students of history.

Distributor: Columbia

Jessica Alba, Parker Posey, Alessandro Nivola. Suspense/horror. Written by Sebastian Gutierrez. Directed by David Moreau & Xavier Palud.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Remake of scary Japanese film has a young blind woman seeing visions and dead people after she undergoes eye surgery. Haunted by one particular specter, our heroine is soon convinced that her anonymous eye donor has somehow opened the door to a terrifying world only she can now see.

PREVIEW REVIEW: Hey, this actually has a moral. It’s scary, with smoky demonic beings protruding from walls and hovering over people about to die, but it also contains an adage; it’s best to see life from a spiritual perspective. But you have to undergo a great deal of jolting imagery, not to mention faux-literate dialogue, less than inspiring direction, and a misleading look at the spiritual world. And Jessica Alba, though determined to be a good actress, is just too hampered by the incredulous script and her limitations as a thespian, to give her character or the story much depth.

Studios wisely refrain from inviting press to prior screenings of films they know will meet with little but negative comment. Such is the case with this film. However, even if people don’t read reviews, they should be leery of a film the studio made sure reviewers couldn’t see. Beware, there’s a reason.

DVD Alternatives: Awakenings. A man is brought out of a catatonic state after 30 years. Although rated PG-13 for 4 obscenities and the use of an Ouija board in two scenes, it does carry a message of hope and a reminder that the soul needs to be nourished. Robin Williams, Robert DeNiro.

Or:

The Canterville Ghost. A parable about finding courage within, this classic fantasy has a cowardly ghost bound to his ancestral home until a descendant does a brave deed. This film teaches a life lesson rather than seriously promoting the existence of ghosts.

Or:

The Enchanted Cottage. Robert Young and Dorothy McGuire star in this heart-warming fantasy about a scarred war vet and a homely woman, both made beautiful by their love. Like way old, and in B&W, but a very romantic film that teaches love looks beyond the superficial.

Or:

The Ghost & Mrs. Muir. A gothic romance without promiscuity, starring Rex Harrison, Gene Tierney and George Sanders. No, I don't believe in ghosts (angels and demons, yes), but the serene love affair is difficult to resist. It contains, you should excuse the expression, a “haunting” score by Bernard Herrmann. I know, it’s also old, but man, great filmmaking. And folks, it’s difficult to find more recent films with a positive message that don’t reflect today’s acceptance of objectionable material.

Distributor: Lionsgate

Rutina Wesley, Dwain Murphy, Tracey Armstrong. Drama/dance musical. Written by Annmarie Morais. Directed by Ian Iqbal Rashid.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Raya Green is seventeen-years-old, bright and full of promise. She attends a prestigious private school outside her tough, crime-ridden neighborhood. When a family tragedy leaves her family unable to pay her tuition, Raya is forced to return to the old community she so desperately wants to escape. She soon finds herself drawn into the world of underground dance competitions and smells an opportunity to win some money, get out of the neighborhood, help her family and return to her old school. But as the dance tournament unfolds, Raya realizes that real success only comes to those brave enough to tackle it on their own terms.

Featuring a fresh cast of new discoveries, this Sundance Film Festival hit marks the feature film debut of the electric Rutina Wesley, with street-style step sequences by top choreographer Hi Hat and special appearances by R&B singer-songwriter Keyshia Cole and comedian DeRay Davis.

PREVIEW REVIEW: It’s not original, and you have to be open to rap and “stepping” to get the most out of this film, but the cast is sincere and able in their chosen music field, the director keeps the pacing lively and involving, and the messages are clear and positive. The story rests on one prominent line – “One moment changes a million after it.” The filmmaker obviously wants to send a positive message to urban audiences that despite ordeals, travail can be overcome. And without sermonizing, there is a gentle nudge to steer clear of drugs.

Distributor: Paramount Vantage

Mathieu Amalric, Emmanuelle Seigner, Max Von Sydow. Drama. Written by RONALD HARWOOD. Directed by JULIAN SCHNABEL

FILM SYNOPSIS: Based on a true story of Jean-Dominique Bauby (Mathieu Amalric), a successful and charismatic editor-in-chief of French Elle, whose sudden stroke leaves him in a life-altered state. Unable to move, he is trapped in his mind, where he begins to find solace reexamining his rich memories. After getting over self-pity, he uses his newfound imagination to escape his physical boundaries and, with the assistance of a patient aide, even to write a book.

PREVIEW REVIEW: It’s a masterpiece! But as with all masterpieces, it will not be appreciated by all audiences. It’s deliberately paced (translation – it’s often slow), it’s subtitled, and the subject has to do with a man paralyzed from head down due to a stroke – not exactly Friday night escapist fare. Another drawback for us Christians is the fact that the lead is anti-religion and the content is peppered with objectionable language and casual sex (though nothing is included in order to be titillating, but merely to reveal his outlook and lifestyle).

The lead character is not just a man with little use for religion; he’s downright hostile to the concepts of Christianity and the Hereafter. He’s uncomfortable with being in the presence of spiritual images and reflections, as if a hidden awareness of his guilts are being smothered by ego and self-centeredness. This becomes disturbing, for his rejection of spiritual matters leaves him with little more than his limited time left in a world where he is scrubbed and tended to by others.

Despite these PG-13 deterrents, the film remains, as I said, a masterpiece. Julian Schnabel (Rockets Redglare, The Million Dollar Hotel) directs like a baroque painter – using thoughts that reflect underlining tension and images that demand attention with their violent movement and strong emotion. It’s almost a classical movie. But what makes the film so powerful, so worthwhile, is the lesson that lingers once we leave the theater. We are reminded that our health and place in this life can change instantly. We are reminded to live every moment, enjoy every day as a gift, and to realize that our limitations and struggles often pale in comparison to the true afflictions of others. By film’s end, this viewer thanked God for His blessings and prayed for a merciful end when that time comes.

Distributor: Miramax

Jason Lee, Jane Lynch, Cameron Richardson, David Cross. Kids comedy. Written by Jon Vitti, Chris Viscardi, Will McRobb. Directed by Tim Hill.

FILM SYNOPSIS: A wannabe songwriter’s house is invading by three precocious chipmunks. And to his surprise, they talk. And to his astonishment – they sing! Soon a record deal is signed and the trio of rodents find themselves beloved rock stars. But is life on the road what the little guys are looking for? And is the songwriter about to learn that it’s a lonely life without family – even if family consists of three talking, troublemaking tree-dwellers?

PREVIEW REVIEW: If you’re looking for a sparkling satire on the music industry, what are you doing at this movie? This one’s slapstick and poop-humor fueled. Though baby boomers may have a nostalgic warm spot for these cartoon critters, their generational appeal is as outdated as the Slinky. What grownup wants to see a live-action/computer-generated kiddie film about high-pitched speaking squirrels? Not even those who bought Alvin’s two biggest hits, The Chipmunk Song and The Witch Doctor, are going to be first in line for this one – surely.

That’s not to say the film is a stinker. It has some positives. Basically, it’s aimed at little ones. And that’s where the grownup appreciation will come in. Sitting amid a matinee audience (I missed the press screening, darn), I got a charge out of the reaction of little ones in the theater. Their laughter helped make it an enjoyable experience for this critic. I assume that’s the greatest aspect for a parent having to sit through such films, as well.

There are some funny moments, some positive messages about needing to be loved and belonging to family, the special effects are satisfactory, and despite some gyrating dancers, and the requisite poop joke or two, it’s a clean movie – mostly. Entertainment wise, well, it’s better than 27 Dresses. But don’t expect me to go buy the soundtrack.

Wondering about the PG rating? Please read the content section.

Distributor: 20th Century Fox

Eva Longoria Parker, Paul Rudd, Lake Bell, Jason Biggs. Comedy. Written & directed by Jeff Lowell.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Devastated when his fiancée, Kate (Eva Longoria Parker), is killed on their wedding day (crushed by a falling ice sculpture), Henry (Paul Rudd) reluctantly agrees to consult a psychic named Ashley (Lake Bell) at the urging of his sister Chloe (Lindsay Sloane). Despite his skepticism over her psychic abilities, Henry finds himself falling hard for Ashley, and vice versa. But there is a big snag. Ashley is being haunted by Kate’s ghost, who considers it her heavenly duty to break up Henry and Ashley’s fledging romance, if it is the last thing she does on this earthly plane...

PREVIEW REVIEW: I am grateful when a studio delivers a film during the first two months of the year that catches the imagination and tickles the funny bone. I’ve come not to expect it. Alas, Over Her Dead Body is not one of those welcome surprises. Despite the promise of the title, this is one of those films studios stuff into movie theaters in January and February while talented movie makers and real movie stars complete summer blockbusters and year-end award contenders.

The concept of ghosts haunting numbskulls has been around since Topper. Here, that concept and the story structure suffer from what I call TV-itis. TV-itis is an ailment which numbs the part of the brain that distinguishes between wit and sit-com klutziness. The writing may be okay for home entertainment, where phone disruptions and children’s needs don’t necessarily cause viewers to lose sight of the storyline. Once these projects are given the big screen treatment, however, audiences can clearly see through the plot holes and the absurdity that’s meant to pass as comic calamity.

Here’s a symptom of TV-itis found in Over Her Dead Body. The comic sidekick is thought to be gay. But maybe he’s not. Maybe he just pretends to be for five years so he can be the best friend of the woman he secretly loves. Oh, I know that doesn’t make since. That’s TV-itis at its most insidious.

Here’s another example of how TV-itis has stricken writer/director Jeff Lowell. When the sidekick’s arm catches on fire during a cooking mishap, he plunges it into a huge pot of boiling water, then rants around the room like Ralph Kramden. That’s what I said, his arm catches on fire. Seeing a human being on fire – that’s always classic.

Much of the film’s humor runs in that vein. The ghost causes one embarrassing situation after another, making everyone in the story think the other female lead is nuts. And how does the victim of this supernatural harassment handle these embarrassing moments? Well, think back to each episode of I Love Lucy. Trouble is, Ms. Lake is no Lucy. And I suspect the crudeness of the situations here would have been discarded by Lucy’s writing staff.

As this review is already more time consuming than the film deserves, suffice it to say, my theory that no one sets out to make a bad movie has once again been tested.

DVD Alternative: Topper with Cary Grant, Constance Bennett and Roland Young, and directed with style and class by Norman McLeod. Unsettled ghosts return to earth to dominate then befriend a meak businessman. I realize it’s really old (made in 1937), and in black and white to boot. I mention it because a few weeks ago a young publicist told me she loved it. So, maybe there are those who will watch a clever and funny film despite its age.

Want a stupid one, but funny due to its star? Try The Ghost and Mr. Chicken with Don Knotts. Remember, I told you it’s stupid. Or Ghostbusters. The first one has some objectionable material, but there are also a few positives – there’s a reverential discussion about Jesus and the movie is funny.

Distributor: New Line Cinema