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The third installment has Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) battling wits with Jack Frost (Martin Short) who is bent on taking over Santa’s yearly job.

The press were invited to a screening of The Escape Clause the night before it opened. This makes it difficult for us to meet deadlines or (as in my case) correct grammar, misspellings and clumsy paragraphs. But this shouldn’t be too painful for you to read as I will keep it short.

How could such talented people blunder a sure fire concept? I don’t know, but this bunch did.

I won’t go into detail concerning the ineptness of this third trip to the North Pole with Tim Allen. Why bother? You will attend no matter how I word my cautions. You have no choice. You have little ones with precious little G-rated entertainment in theaters to amuse them. It will only cause resentment to elaborate concerning the film’s ability to evaporate brain cells with the same proficiency as Beefeaters Gin. To go on about the director’s rhythmless pacing, the screenwriter’s muddy visual sense, and the actors’ redundant buffoonery will only cause you to hate the messenger. I will have warned you about the lame attempt at family-themes and Martin Short’s horrendous parody of Liza Minnelli doing a rewritten version of New York/New York and there is still nothing you could do about it. You are fathers and you were doomed the day you first heard those accursed words, “Daddy, can we go see Santa Clause 3?”

This is the one instance when the Lord will understand your wish to have never left bachelorhood. But you did. You fell in love and on the wings of enthusiasm you brought forth progeny. And now the piper must be paid. Well, with any luck, your better half will take them.

(In an attempt to be humorous I have made light of this film, but please understand, I am not ridiculing those involved. Tim Allen and Martin Short are talented men and no one sets out to make a bad movie. It’s a collaborative art form. But this film appears to be one made merely to cash in on the franchise, with as little effort as possible to make it fresh or funny.)

Distributor: Buena Vista