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Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush. Written by Ted Elliot, Terry Rossio. Directed by Gore Verbinski.

FILM SYNOPSIS: Will and Elizabeth (Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley) align with Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) to save Jack (Johnny Depp) from Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). Betrayals, battles and buffooneries ensue.

PREVIEW REVIEW: I admit it, I preferred the Disneyland ride that spawned this swashbuckling franchise. (I think what I really enjoyed about that attraction was the anticipation of dinner afterward in the attached Blue Bayou.) The ride was re-formed as an outrageous blockbuster-series with Johnny Depp portraying the Paul Lynde of pirates. It was an interesting characterization at first, but three films worth of this guy preening and prancing? Depp unapologetically plays his swishing seafarer as if he were a cross between Dudley Moore’s inebriated Arthur and England’s Dame Edna. A little of that goes a long way.

I knew these movies would be loud and long. And I was right. Lots of “Yh, maties” and other pirate jargon shouted over the roar of a swirling sea would be supported by battle scenes laced with swordfights, things that go boom, and enough special effects to, well, sink a ship. Again, I was right. But all this clamorous cacophony seemed strained by the end of the second installment. Make that the endless second installment.

Despite, or because of, this latest sequel’s multitudinous explosions and countless characters and ceaseless yak-yak-yaking (the girl even gives us a speech about freedom ala Braveheart while standing on the rail before her scurvy crew), I was bored to death.

Okay, the curmudgeon has spoken. The audience at the screening was more accepting. There was no clapping at film’s end, but the moviegoers, there on a free pass, seemed to enjoy all the activity. It cost a great deal of money to make this movie and every doubloon spent is visible on screen. It has a spectacular look and the special effects guys must have put in a lot of overtime, giving the audience a treasure chest of eye-popping visuals. And if you like your pirate movies full of battle scenes – you got it.

Hint to ye hearty souls, should you attend this nearly three-hour movie, sit through the ending credits, despite their seven-minute length. There’s one more scene. And it would suggest, oh Lord, Pirates of the Caribbean Part Four!

Distributor: Walt Disney